There are many reasons why we might end up using violence in our relationships. As mentioned above, usually we do it because we want to maintain power and control over another person. We probably do this because we feel powerless or that we have lost control of one or more aspects of our lives. When we are struggling with difficult emotions such as sadness, anger, frustration, jealousy, etc., we have a choice as to how we can act out on that emotion. We can’t always choose what we feel, but we can choose how we act based on what we feel. By pledging to utilize your support network when struggling to refrain from using violence, you are pledging to call or text a trusted family friend or family member to help you work through the difficult emotions you’re feeling. You may worry that you are inconveniencing them, but even that is better than hurting somebody you love.
Sometimes the people who should be able to support us, such as friends and family members, are not people who can help us work through difficult emotions. A warm line is like a hotline, but for people who aren’t in an immediate crisis and they’re a great option for anyone who just needs to talk. The National Alliance on Mental Illness operates a line that can direct callers to their local warm line: 800-950-NAMI. For anyone needing long term support, therapy is a wonderful way to work through difficult feelings and also to identify the roots of those feelings. The following site lists therapists in Humboldt County and explains their services and how to get in contact with them: http://www.ncamhp.org/index.html