For Concerned Friends and Family members

Do you know someone in an abusive relationship? Do you suspect that a friend, relative, or someone you know is being abused? If so, don't be afraid to offer help...your concern might be the first step towards that person leading a life free of violence.

Here are some basic steps you can take to assist someone who may be the target of domestic violence.

Look for these warning signs:

--The person frequently has bruises or injuries.
--The person becomes unusually quiet or withdrawn.
--The person stops talking about their partner.
--The person wears concealing clothes, even in warm weather.
--The person suddenly avoids their friends and family.
--The person won't return phone calls.
--The person seems edgy and scared most of the time.

Make time to talk with her/him in a safe, private place.

--Take the time to listen, and believe what you hear.
--Don't underestimate the danger.
--Express your concern for the person's safety.
--Don't expect change overnight. Be patient and continue to offer your support.
--Don't judge or criticize the person's decisions.
--If you need to comment on the person's partner, criticize the behavior, not the person.
--Encourage the person to make her/his own choices, but urge them to talk to someone who knows about domestic violence.
--Let the person know that there are many other people in abusive relationships and tell her/him about agencies that can help.
--Help her/him make a "safety plan"

Call the HDVS staff at any time to talk, discuss options, or to learn more about domestic violence.